Articles & Stories
HOW TOTAKE CARE OF YOU:
1. Don’t forget about yourself-don’t feel bad about taking time to hang out with friends.
2. Understand your feelings-sometimes you will feel love, concern, happiness, anger, sadness, grief and embarrassment it is normal and lots of other young carers feel the same way.
3. Talk, talk, talk-find someone you can talk to about how you feel.
4. Bounce back and be positive-being a young carer means learning to bounce back from the tough times…stay positive, and remember all the great things you are doing to help your family.
5. Be honest-with yourself and your family. Let them know when caring is too much or when it feels uncomfortable…ask for helpwhen you need a break.
*Used with permission from the Powerhouse Project Niagara
2. Understand your feelings-sometimes you will feel love, concern, happiness, anger, sadness, grief and embarrassment it is normal and lots of other young carers feel the same way.
3. Talk, talk, talk-find someone you can talk to about how you feel.
4. Bounce back and be positive-being a young carer means learning to bounce back from the tough times…stay positive, and remember all the great things you are doing to help your family.
5. Be honest-with yourself and your family. Let them know when caring is too much or when it feels uncomfortable…ask for helpwhen you need a break.
*Used with permission from the Powerhouse Project Niagara
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Profile of a young carer: Megan’s story
Megan was referred to a Young Carers Project in the UK in June 2010 when she was 9 years old. Megan’s mom suffers from mental illness and often spends weeks at a time in the hospital. Megan spent a lot of time at home helping out with her younger brother (4 years old), particularly when her mom was going through a ‘bad patch’; she also helped out with house hold chores and cooking.
Megan worried about her mom and didn’t really understand her illness. Megan focused on learning about her mom’s illness and went on to take part in a Young Carers’ project which tackled stigma around mental health. This gave Megan a better understanding of how things were for her mom, which in turn helped Megan to cope with her own feelings and her caring role. Megan has also attended and enjoyed residential trips to the Scottish National Young Carers Festival and taken part in many activities she had never done before, including camping, cooking and outdoor sports. Megan has made a ton of new friends who are also young carers. She now regularly attends group nights, events and trips. Following on from Megan’s support, her older teen brother Chris has recently become involved in the project . Adapted from: http://www.youngcarers.co.uk |
Hey, Incrediboy by veronica
Hey, Incrediboy
I wanted to talk to you, today I know it has been a while And for that, I am sorry. The world is a little strange Multiple things take our time Each one thinking they are #1, When they usually are in last place. However I have some time now So I want to spend it with you. There are a hundred things to do Some of them, you need Some of them, I want But since we are talking now I’ll set them aside And say some things, That I always wanted to say But never find the time Thank you for being you, I know that may seem strange Considering I’m always pushing you To change, to grow and to explore But that’s because I care And I might fear the future More than you might. The world is unfair sometimes And being different is hard. I know you didn’t choose this, You were born that way And I love you all the same. Did you know? Learning is a two way street. Each day, you’re moving forward Taking those first steps That lead to the next. However I’m learning, just like you It’s not an easy thing to do I’m already partly grown-up I’m already set in my ways. So please forgive my mistakes I will try to get better Now I know why we call them “milestones” In our rushed world, we tend to forget that And move to the next step as fast as we can. You remind me that a milestone is just that, A mile long step in the way to life Sometimes we can speed right through it Other times, we stumble around and take a while So we will just have to work at it, No matter what the pace is, To cross that mile and move to the next. I also wanted to say “I’m sorry” Sometimes I get mad Sometimes I’m frustrated I want that milestone to be so much shorter I might yell or say unfair things I demand for things that you can’t give me just yet And I hurt both of us. Sometimes you get angry too. You’re trying so hard to tell me something In your special little ways And I’m too wrapped up, Looking for your words, Instead of listening for your meaning I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m not good at this 100% of the time I make mistakes And I get things wrong. So please let me make it up to you And I will work hard To give you the future that you deserve I’ll shoot for the moon, And bring down the stars So that you can shine where you belong. Hey Incrediboy, it’s time to go. We got a mountain to climb And stars to reach for It won’t be an easy trip We might slip up Or scrape our knees on the way. But that’s okay, we have each other Even a mountain can be conquered When you have someone beside you So let’s go! We have a long way to go But at least it’s a path we can take Hand in Hand. |
A StarYoung Carers might be what we are
But I think we’re more like a star We light the dark and twinkle brightly Being happy and being sprightly Then in the day we disappear Being seen is what we fear Acting normal, Coping well Hiding all, please don’t tell My mum and me we are the best She does her bit I do the rest We live our life and we get by It can be tough we sometimes cry It’s not always fair but we’ll always be there Children that share and children that care At the end of the day it’ll be night We’ll come out again and we will shine bright YES a star that’s what we are -Anonymous Young Carer The Children’s Society: Young Carers Initiative, Young Carers Poetry Book 2005 
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School STUFFSchool can be so much fun because you get to focus on your future goals and ambitions, as well as subjects you’re interested in learning! BUT sometimes school can be hard for a young carer. You have a lot of responsibilities and often carry extra worry about the family member you are caring for. Sometimes that makes school really hard because teachers and friends may not understand what you are going through.
TIPS FOR MAKING SCHOOL A LITTLE EASIER Contact one of the YCP staff and we can talk to your school about being a young carer and some of the academic challenges that you may have in the upcoming year. We can make teachers and principals aware of your needs and let them know how they can help you, cause we all want you to succeed! Often Teachers don’t know about young carers. They don’t realize that at least 12% of the kids they teach are young carers. If they were given information about young carers worldwide, they would know how they could support you better. Sometimes all it takes is a little understanding! Prefer to keep things private? No worries, we can keep your identity anonymous. Plus, not everyone needs to know, just the people who will help to make a big positive difference for you. Getting picked on at school? If you have a bully at school, it’s important to tell someone no matter how scary your bully might be. Telling someone takes away their power over you! Need more advice? Get in touch with us we can help you out! Sometimes it helps to just talk it out and have someone who understands you! You can talk to other members from the YCP. Staff are also available to talk to you and listen to your concerns. Having someone to talk to or hang out with who understands what it’s like to be a young carer can make a BIG difference! “What teacher should I talk to...” You should talk to someone who listens to you and your needs, someone who understands your situation, and doesn’t talk about it to other peo- ple unless you give them permission. You want to talk to a teacher who tries to help if they can; someone who genuinely cares. 
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Young Carers in Western Australia give advice on how to talk to friends!
It's important to let your close friends know a bit about your home life as this will help them understand you more. It can also give them a chance to help you through the times when you are feeling lonely or stressed about your role as a young carer.
HERE ARE A FEW POINTERS ON HOW TO TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT BEING A YOUNG CARER:
HERE ARE A FEW POINTERS ON HOW TO TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT BEING A YOUNG CARER:
- Don't hide it! If you are late to school because of your caring responsibilities, or if your parents can't al- ways take you to activities after school, it's a good op- portunity to explain to your friends why.
- Let your friends know the facts of the disability or illness your family member has and try to explain it to them in a way they will understand.
- If your friends come over to your house and don't know how to interact with the person you care for, lead by example. Remember that your friends are probably just scared of saying or doing something wrong!” www.youngcarerswa.asn.au
WorryingWorrying can be one of the worst feelings in the world, so why can’t I stop doing it?
Simple, we think it can help us solve a problem by thinking about it enough. Maybe we can make sure it doesn’t get worse, or we can prevent something from happening, or make ourselves prepared to handle whatever out- come may happen. But a lot of the time, it can make us feel worse by not letting us fall asleep at night, or dis- tracting us at school. What can we do to lessen how much we worry? Try the following steps to see if they help. Control the amount of time you spend on worrying If you feel like all you do is worry, you might find that you start missing out on other important and fun things happening in your life. The good news is worrying can be like a bad habit, which means you can break it! Sometimes when we put lots of effort into something it grows. So when we spend lots of time worrying about something it can feel like it’s becoming a bigger and bigger worry. We need to lessen the time we spend on it and the power we give it. One way of doing this is to plan out a specific time to think about your worries. Make sure this is not before bedtime because it could affect your sleep. (You might even want your family or friends close by incase you feel overwhelmed and want to talk about your worries). When that time is up, try your best to put the worry aside until the next time you plan to think about it. Understand what you can realistically do Answering the following questions can help you distinguish what thoughts are working and not working for you. Is the problem solvable? Some problems cannot be fixed, which can feel really tough, and it’s okay to feel however it makes you feel! It’s also nor- mal to worry about things even when we know we can’t fix them, but there are things you can do to help yourself worry less. Ask yourself: Can you put a positive spin on it? What are some other possible outcomes? How does worrying help me out here? How does worrying hurt me? What would you say to your best friend if they had the same worry? You might also feel better by trying to recognize your feelings without getting down on yourself for having them, and then thinking of the next steps to make yourself feel better! Recognizing your feelings can relieve some of the stress building up inside. Stay in the moment Don’t let your brain go there! Stay in the moment and try your best to focus on the very thing you are doing right now. Staying focused on the present is key! This is done by letting yourself have thoughts, but just as easily letting them go. Imagine all your worries going into a jar and throwing that jar over Niagara Falls! It’s ok not to know the future. Sometimes bad things happen or things that make us sad. It’s okay to feel down sometimes, but we don’t want to be so consumed with all the possible bad things that we never see the good in the present. Just take one day at a time. Get support Ask for help when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Maybe someone knows an action step you could take, or you might feel less stressed if you just talk about it, write about it or draw about it. http://helpguide.org/mental/anxiety_self_help.htm |
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Schizophrenia Journey by Ahalya Kathirkamanathan
Beauty of the folded crevasses of fear begin to grow
And engulf the world that crawls beneath her skin Tranquilized into another place of unknown stories Trapped here in the world seen with the eyes The thoughts speaks tongues she does not understand The moonlight steals reality like sand does time So the nights merge into waves of anarchy The light stays hidden, illuminating only her insanity |
Bullying by Emma Vjada
Is because I am weaker;
Is because it's funny to see me crying; Is bcause you like tormenting me; Is because it makes you feel accomplished; What's special about picking on me? You are mean; You are liars; You are pathetic; You kill my courage like a hot on a bull's eye; You changed my life forever; |
My Siblings by Katiana Moussa
I have two siblings, each with the same disability. Autism, epilepsy, and are non verbal. My brother’s name is Majed and he is 21. My sister’s name is Juli and she is 15. I love my siblings very much and could never ask for any other. My brother has very strong seizures. He has had many of them, and as time goes on they are getting stronger and way worse. My sister on the other hand has more controlled seizures. She is on medication to help stop them. Until now it is helping very much.
Brother: My brother and I are very close to one another. The worst experience I have had with him is when he had a seizure in front of me and I called 911. I was about 7 at the time. It is very sad when you think about it, because I can loose any one of them any second. As a child I never really had a problem or was embarrassed of them. I was very mature at an early age because when I was about 1 my parents started to feed me information about what and why my siblings are like this. I never had a problem with it. I love my brother very much, and wish that he will stay healthy.
Sister: To me she is the best older sister to have because she takes stress and anger off of my shoulder every time I see her smile. The biggest challenge I have had with my sister was when she caught the swine flu. It was my biggest challenge because I had never seen her in a hospital chair before; she had many IV’s in her hands. The worst part was when she had it, she would never smile. My parents would try their best to make me feel like it was ok, but it didn’t work. Some things just can’t get healed by some one telling you that it’s going to be ok. Any- ways my sister is fine now and is acting like the best big sister I could ever ask for.
CHALLENGES: Some challenging things that I went through with my siblings were knowing that nothing is going to change. Sometimes I think to myself what it would be like if my sib- lings could talk. They would always take my side, give me advice when I need it, my brother could drive me places and I could talk to them about how I feel.
Advice to young carers: Always be honest with your parents, don’t hide any of your feelings If you feel very upset and don’t feel like talking, write your feelings down on a piece of paper. It always helps me :) Try to smile often, it makes your parents feel happy, and sometimes they forget about the problems they have when they see their children smile.
Advice to parents: Don’t lie to your children.... Example don’t tell them that its going to be ok when everyone knows its not. Try to give the same amount of attention to each one of your children. If you see that your children are mad, then go up to them and ask what’s wrong... if they don’t feel like talking then leave them alone, they will come and tell you later...Don’t pres- sure your children.
Advice to both: Always talk to someone when you are sad or upset, it helps to express your feelings to someone who can understand you and give you good advice about the situation.
NEVER keep your feelings hidden; it’s not good for your social life or your health. :D
Brother: My brother and I are very close to one another. The worst experience I have had with him is when he had a seizure in front of me and I called 911. I was about 7 at the time. It is very sad when you think about it, because I can loose any one of them any second. As a child I never really had a problem or was embarrassed of them. I was very mature at an early age because when I was about 1 my parents started to feed me information about what and why my siblings are like this. I never had a problem with it. I love my brother very much, and wish that he will stay healthy.
Sister: To me she is the best older sister to have because she takes stress and anger off of my shoulder every time I see her smile. The biggest challenge I have had with my sister was when she caught the swine flu. It was my biggest challenge because I had never seen her in a hospital chair before; she had many IV’s in her hands. The worst part was when she had it, she would never smile. My parents would try their best to make me feel like it was ok, but it didn’t work. Some things just can’t get healed by some one telling you that it’s going to be ok. Any- ways my sister is fine now and is acting like the best big sister I could ever ask for.
CHALLENGES: Some challenging things that I went through with my siblings were knowing that nothing is going to change. Sometimes I think to myself what it would be like if my sib- lings could talk. They would always take my side, give me advice when I need it, my brother could drive me places and I could talk to them about how I feel.
Advice to young carers: Always be honest with your parents, don’t hide any of your feelings If you feel very upset and don’t feel like talking, write your feelings down on a piece of paper. It always helps me :) Try to smile often, it makes your parents feel happy, and sometimes they forget about the problems they have when they see their children smile.
Advice to parents: Don’t lie to your children.... Example don’t tell them that its going to be ok when everyone knows its not. Try to give the same amount of attention to each one of your children. If you see that your children are mad, then go up to them and ask what’s wrong... if they don’t feel like talking then leave them alone, they will come and tell you later...Don’t pres- sure your children.
Advice to both: Always talk to someone when you are sad or upset, it helps to express your feelings to someone who can understand you and give you good advice about the situation.
NEVER keep your feelings hidden; it’s not good for your social life or your health. :D
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What to do when...advice from Western Australian young carers
You have trouble getting to school on time or need to leave early, because of your caring responsibilities at home.
Let your teachers or guidance counselor know as soon as you can about your role as a young carer. Try to work out a school timetable with them which takes into account your duties as a young carer at home. Ask an adult or YCP staff to help with this if you need. Your friends don’t know that you care for somebody at home. If you feel comfortable speak to a close friend. It may feel easier to talk to one friend first rather than a whole group. The person you care for embarrasses you in front of your friends. Know that it is normal to have feelings of embarrassment, anger, or guilt about something that the person you care for might do. Other young carers will be able to share many simi- lar stories, and it helps to talk these situations through with people who have been there. Your family wants you to be at home on weekends but you want to spend time with your friends. It can be hard as a young carer to start your own life while you still have responsibilities with your family. It can be especially difficult for your family and the person you care for, as they are used to seeing you all the time. Try to find regular times when you can be with your family to show them that you still care for them. http://www.youngcarerswa.asn.au/info-help/at-school/ |
Young Carers-Personal Story By: Youth Champion Emma .Z. Vajda
I care for my dad because he has FTD- Frontotemporal Dementia. It was about a year ago when I was 16 and things started out as a blur. I was sometimes late for school and had difficulty in school.
The hard part of caring for him is being a “parent” to him and it breaks my heart to do it. He does not remember everything he says or does. Also it is hard to be the strong one for my dad.
So I chose to talk to a social worker in my school because my marks were not up to my poten- tial. I also experienced trouble with bullies along with the difficulties with my dad. I had a lot of bad weeks because of it. At home I had to learn new chores around the house, and I had to walk to school and back. I worried about my dad’s tumour surgery and his recovery. I also worried that if he was out- side by himself that he would get lost and the police would have to help find him.
I spoke with a social worker and through our talks I realized I have benefits to helping my dad. I also realized the good changes I have made. Those changes are dealing with bullying and being more independent from my mom.
Six months later, my self-confidence went up. I am now dealing with my mom better and be- ing less bullied. I am slowly trying to put myself out there and trying hard to get good marks in school. I learned to live in the moment and take life with my dad day by day. I appreciate the times I spend with my dad alone and our inside jokes too, laughing and the other good times with him.
The hard part of caring for him is being a “parent” to him and it breaks my heart to do it. He does not remember everything he says or does. Also it is hard to be the strong one for my dad.
So I chose to talk to a social worker in my school because my marks were not up to my poten- tial. I also experienced trouble with bullies along with the difficulties with my dad. I had a lot of bad weeks because of it. At home I had to learn new chores around the house, and I had to walk to school and back. I worried about my dad’s tumour surgery and his recovery. I also worried that if he was out- side by himself that he would get lost and the police would have to help find him.
I spoke with a social worker and through our talks I realized I have benefits to helping my dad. I also realized the good changes I have made. Those changes are dealing with bullying and being more independent from my mom.
Six months later, my self-confidence went up. I am now dealing with my mom better and be- ing less bullied. I am slowly trying to put myself out there and trying hard to get good marks in school. I learned to live in the moment and take life with my dad day by day. I appreciate the times I spend with my dad alone and our inside jokes too, laughing and the other good times with him.