MAKING TIME FOR THE BASICS
First off: eating. Eating and drinking are two of the most important tasks you will ever complete in life. Without these two essential ways to fuel your body, you cannot live. Make sure that when you eat, you are eating healthy, balanced meals, and try to opt for water over juice or soft drinks, as these contain lots of sugars and don’t hydrate your body as well as water. It is important remember that food is fuel for your body, so try your best to make healthy choices whenever possible. What you put in is what you get out, so if you want to feel your best, eat only the best!Sleep is another essential factor of life. Without sleep, it is impossible for us as humans to function. 8 hours is the minimum amount you should be getting of sleep every night. Without a solid 8 hours of sleep, you will not be able to perform at your optimal level. Another side note: try your best not to skip valuable hours of sleep to get other tasks done. A restful sleep will make you more productive the next day, and as a result, you will probably be able to get all those tasks done at a more appropriate time of day. If you find that getting enough restful sleep or settling down for sleep is difficult, you are not alone – this is difficult for many young carers. Some techniques to improve your sleep could include creating a calming routine for sleep (with some calming music, reading or meditation, and no screens!), going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, and wearing earplugs to bed if you get woken up easily in the middle of the night.
The final essential basic of life is self-care. It is vital that you take time for yourself to do things that make you happy! As a young carer, your needs can often come second to taking care of your family member and it might be difficult to focus on your own needs. It is important for your health, mental health, and well-being that you do your best to set aside time to do things for yourself and relax! This might mean that you set aside some time each day to exercise, read, meditate, listen to music, hang out with friends – whatever makes you feel refreshed and rejuvenated!
While it can be difficult to focus on your own needs consistently as a young carer, just doing the best you can, whenever you can, can have a positive impact on your well-being and help you to take better care our yourself and your loved ones.
– Written by Ismay Earl and Annie Basterfield
Photos from freedigitialphotos.net (“Fruits and Vegetables” by Suat Eman, “Woman Reading a Book” by Naypong)
YOUTH CHAMPION STORY
Today’s story comes from one of our youth champions, Christina. Christina became a young carer at 13 years old when her grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, and continues to be a caregiver for her mother. Thank you so much to Christina for sharing your story!
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At the mere age of thirteen, I heard the word “cancer.” It was like a knife going through my heart when the doctor told me that my grandma had leukemia. From that day forward, I had no idea that I would be taking care of her and what the road ahead meant for me.
It started with going to doctors appointments and researching medications she was on, to the simple task of calling to see how she was doing or whether she needed anything. Little did I know that as time went by, I would have to take on a much bigger role of being an adult, rather than being a teenager, and making life saving decisions. I can recall that the hardest moments of being a caregiver were not being able to participate in activities of the milestones of growing up. There was a constant pressure of taking on such a big role and having to fulfil a role that I never experienced or known of anyone my age that was in a similar situation. I had to constantly juggle my time and energy one hundred percent towards her, while not realizing that I was abandoning my own personal, physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. I didn’t sign up to do this, but I knew I had to because there was no one else and she confided in me.
When she broke her pelvis, I stepped in to help with bathing, toileting, eating, and advocating on her behalf when health care professionals wouldn’t listen. At this point, the caregiving role became more intense. It was a constant battle to be there almost twenty-four seven and managing finishing university as a nurse. Her health was diminishing and it became challenging to navigate where I stood or what my role had to be. I started off with going doctors appointments, and then bathing, and now advocating for her wishes to stay alive when the health care professionals gave me no hope that she would pull through from the complications that had come with the breaking of her pelvis. Each day, I was constantly reminded that she would not make it and that keeping her alive was very hard on her. I couldn’t stand having to hear the word “dying.” It pinched a nerve in my body that I just couldn’t shake. I kept fighting for her to stay alive, but it was extremely hard to stand back and watch the pain she was in. I sat by her side through the whole time she was dying and the role I had was now reversed. I couldn’t do anything I had in the past. I found it very difficult. I felt helpless and I was useless. I tried avenues to help with her care but I wasn’t being heard. It was very frustrating. At times, I felt guilty of my decisions that I had chosen for her, even though that was what she wanted.
Even after she passed away, I didn’t get a break. My mom was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. Again the awful word, “cancer,” is said, but the most painful aspect is that she is palliative. The options aren’t as black and white and my role as a caregiver is much more complex. There are a lot higher expectations put on me, such as maintaining a job, helping with finances, helping with house work, making sure appointments are all attended, collaborating with many health care team workers, and being able to manipulate my knowledge, as I have a background in health and it is an advantage in navigating the complex resources.
To be honest, the caregiving role I have known is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done or faced in my life. I have had to stand back and watch my friends have a career, become successful, get married, have children, and be financially stable, where I feel like I’m behind. It’s hard to act my age and go out and do things or talk to friends about my situation when I have to become the parent now and reverse the family roles as a caregiver. None of my friends know what it’s like and often times, it becomes upsetting that they can’t relate or be there for me when I need support. Many times I have been frustrated and neglected every aspect of my own life, and felt like giving up. But somehow, I know that there is no other option, because how can I abandon my mother, who is someone I love?
In conclusion, don’t give up because you have no idea how great a person it takes to do something like caregiving for a loved one who is ill. It’s like you have a super power that no one else has. Just remember to always take care of yourself because if you don’t, how can you take care of somebody else?
YOUNG CARERS PROGRAM
Happy Thursday! To end the week, here is our video for the Young Carers Program, filmed by the amazing Chris Wynn. Have a fantastic holiday weekend!
Feel-Good Friday!
Happy Friday everyone! On the Youth Champions blog, we’ll be doing a series called “Feel-Good Friday,” where we post content that will put a smile on your face to start your weekend off right!
Use these jokes this weekend to make your friends and family laugh! Have a great weekend 🙂
Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator
Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?” A: “You can’t tuna fish.”
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.
Q: How do you drown a Hipster? A: In the mainstream.
Q: How do you make a fruit punch? A: Give it boxing lessons.
Q: Why do sheep go to the movies? A: To get snaaahcks.
Q: What has four legs but can’t walk? A: A chair.
Q: Why do bananas use sunscreen? A: Because they peel.
Photo: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
What is Youth Champions?
When looking at the YCP website and you see the YC Blog tab, you might be wondering, “Youth Champions? I thought this website and blog was for Young Carers!” Well, a Youth Champion is not too different from a young carer, and often a Youth Champion is a young carer.
So what is Youth Champions? This initiative is a group of youth and young adults who are passionate about spreading the word of young carers. As you might already know, it is estimated that approximately 12% of Canadian children and youth are young carers (Charles, Marshall, and Stainton, 2010). With such a significant portion of the population identifying as young carers, the Youth Champions initiative aims to be a key force in raising awareness of young carers and advocating for the needs of this population. As a sub-committee of the Young Carers Program at Hospice Toronto, this initiative recognizes the invisibility of young carers in our society and also recognizes the need to raise awareness of this population, in order to advocate for the growth of supports and services for young carers.
Youth Champions is comprised of dedicated and passionate youth and young adults who want to raise awareness about young carers and also gain valuable skills. Some of our Youth Champions have had the experience of being young carers themselves, and some of them are just passionate about this issue! Members of this initiative get valuable experience in raising awareness and gaining skills in social media, public speaking, and outreach efforts.
If you are a youth or young adult and think Youth Champions sounds awesome, we are in the process of recruiting new members! We are looking for individuals who are passionate about raising awareness of young carers and either have or are looking to develop skills in social media (primarily blogging), public speaking, and other outreach efforts. If you would like to get involved with Youth Champions, contact Katie (katie.jacobs@hospicetoronto.ca) or Annie (ycpintern@hospicetoronto.ca) for more information!
Finally, we want YOU to contribute to this blog, as the Youth Champions blog is “for young carers, by young carers!” If you are a young carer and/or a YCP member and would like to contribute to this blog, please contact Katie or Annie to find out how (e-mails in paragraph above). We are looking for the following content:
· Young Carer profiles
· Creative writing – essays, poems etc.
· Art work – drawings, paintings, photo essays etc.
· Performance art – songs, dancing, acting etc.
· More! If you have an idea, let us know!
References:
Charles, G., Marshall, S. & Stainton, T. (2010). Demographics Profiles and Initial Results from the British Columbia Young Carers Study, Relational Child and Youth Care Practice,23(4), 64-67.