Question BOX...questions from our young carers
What do you do when you get angry with the person you care for, in this case my little brother?
It’s important to know that feeling angry is perfectly normal when something upsets us. But feeling an- gry can cause our bodies to tense up and it can be a very uncomfortable feeling to have. A good first step to feeling better is to understand what is making you angry and if it’s something you can resolve. For example if your brother did something specific that made you angry you could try to talk to him about what happened. But if your brother is unable to understand your feelings you may want to dis- cuss it with your parents or another adult you trust, as sometimes having someone just understand you can make a big difference. Anger is such a strong feeling that it can often grow out of control and feel overwhelming at times, but remember there are things you can do to control how you feel. You can take a few deep breaths, go to a quiet room away from where your brother is, yell into a pillow, write or draw about it to acknowledge that you are upset. Knowing that you did your best to resolve it can help you let the anger go!
How do you make special needs stop?
Unfortunately there is no cure to special needs. However doctors and researchers have made many ad- vances in how we treat and help people with special needs. We are constantly learning new techniques and technology that help people who have special needs and their family members. It can be helpful to find out what things are available to you and your family that help the most. There is a lot of informa- tion out there on specific conditions and there are people who have expert experience and advice to give you, like doctors or other people who work with your sibling. Talking to other young carers in simi- lar situations could provide you with lots of tips and advice on how to help make things easier at home. Sometimes it can be very hard, but having someone with special needs in your home can be amazing as well. They let us see the world in a whole new way, and through that we learn a whole lot, even about ourselves!
How do you calm yourself if you are stressed?
There are lots of things you can do to help calm yourself and some things will work better than others— you might need to try a couple of things to find out what works best for you. Stress can feel like trapped energy inside you and finding a way to release it can make all the difference. Any kind of physical activity like running or playing sports can help get rid of some of that energy. Deep breathing can also really help calm the body and make you feel relaxed. Meditation can also be helpful as well as relaxation tech- niques like listening to guided imagery or relaxing all the different muscles in your body one at a time. Talking to friends or people that care about you can also help release stress, as well as listening to your favourite music or doing an activity you really enjoy.
How do you make the person you care for feel better? I try to say stuff to make them happier but it doesn’t always work.
There are lots of different things people do to try and make someone feel better, like giving them a hug or say- ing some encouraging words. Sometimes the person we are caring for needs different things at different times to make them feel better, and what might work one time might not work another time. It can be hard trying to figure out what you should do. Sometimes the best thing is to ask the person what would make them feel bet- ter. Remember though, it’s not our job to change the way someone is feeling and it’s not our fault that they are feeling bad. Sometimes there is nothing we can do to change how a person feels, and it’s okay to feel frus- trated or upset that you can’t change it. What is really great, is that your family member knows you care! You can be very proud of the fact that you tried to make them feel better and that is a wonderful thing all on its own!
I feel invisible, why does nobody ask me how I am doing? They are always asking me about my sick family member.
You share this feeling with lots of other young carers! Unfortunately, when someone has an illness or disability, they often require extra help and support. So often people are asking to get the most recent update, to see how they can be of help, and to show that they care. Your family member becomes the main issue of conversa- tion since their illness or disability has such a heavy effect on the family, which makes it the first thing they think of when they see you. Some people might also assume you are doing just fine, even though that’s not always the case, as most young carers have a lot of stress and would love to share how they are doing! Even though no one is leaving you out on purpose, we know this can feel frustrating and upsetting! It’s not that peo- ple don’t care, but sometimes they forget with everything else going on. When this happens it’s ok for you to just tell them how you are doing instead of waiting for them to ask. You can also tell them that you feel left out when they do not ask about you, since no one is trying to leave you out on purpose. Another option is to con- fide in a good friend, another young carer, or you can talk to anyone from the YCP. It feels great to share how you are doing, and there are a ton of people who want to know even if they forget to ask.
To submit your questions please send an email. Questions can be answered individually or posted anonymously on this page.
It’s important to know that feeling angry is perfectly normal when something upsets us. But feeling an- gry can cause our bodies to tense up and it can be a very uncomfortable feeling to have. A good first step to feeling better is to understand what is making you angry and if it’s something you can resolve. For example if your brother did something specific that made you angry you could try to talk to him about what happened. But if your brother is unable to understand your feelings you may want to dis- cuss it with your parents or another adult you trust, as sometimes having someone just understand you can make a big difference. Anger is such a strong feeling that it can often grow out of control and feel overwhelming at times, but remember there are things you can do to control how you feel. You can take a few deep breaths, go to a quiet room away from where your brother is, yell into a pillow, write or draw about it to acknowledge that you are upset. Knowing that you did your best to resolve it can help you let the anger go!
How do you make special needs stop?
Unfortunately there is no cure to special needs. However doctors and researchers have made many ad- vances in how we treat and help people with special needs. We are constantly learning new techniques and technology that help people who have special needs and their family members. It can be helpful to find out what things are available to you and your family that help the most. There is a lot of informa- tion out there on specific conditions and there are people who have expert experience and advice to give you, like doctors or other people who work with your sibling. Talking to other young carers in simi- lar situations could provide you with lots of tips and advice on how to help make things easier at home. Sometimes it can be very hard, but having someone with special needs in your home can be amazing as well. They let us see the world in a whole new way, and through that we learn a whole lot, even about ourselves!
How do you calm yourself if you are stressed?
There are lots of things you can do to help calm yourself and some things will work better than others— you might need to try a couple of things to find out what works best for you. Stress can feel like trapped energy inside you and finding a way to release it can make all the difference. Any kind of physical activity like running or playing sports can help get rid of some of that energy. Deep breathing can also really help calm the body and make you feel relaxed. Meditation can also be helpful as well as relaxation tech- niques like listening to guided imagery or relaxing all the different muscles in your body one at a time. Talking to friends or people that care about you can also help release stress, as well as listening to your favourite music or doing an activity you really enjoy.
How do you make the person you care for feel better? I try to say stuff to make them happier but it doesn’t always work.
There are lots of different things people do to try and make someone feel better, like giving them a hug or say- ing some encouraging words. Sometimes the person we are caring for needs different things at different times to make them feel better, and what might work one time might not work another time. It can be hard trying to figure out what you should do. Sometimes the best thing is to ask the person what would make them feel bet- ter. Remember though, it’s not our job to change the way someone is feeling and it’s not our fault that they are feeling bad. Sometimes there is nothing we can do to change how a person feels, and it’s okay to feel frus- trated or upset that you can’t change it. What is really great, is that your family member knows you care! You can be very proud of the fact that you tried to make them feel better and that is a wonderful thing all on its own!
I feel invisible, why does nobody ask me how I am doing? They are always asking me about my sick family member.
You share this feeling with lots of other young carers! Unfortunately, when someone has an illness or disability, they often require extra help and support. So often people are asking to get the most recent update, to see how they can be of help, and to show that they care. Your family member becomes the main issue of conversa- tion since their illness or disability has such a heavy effect on the family, which makes it the first thing they think of when they see you. Some people might also assume you are doing just fine, even though that’s not always the case, as most young carers have a lot of stress and would love to share how they are doing! Even though no one is leaving you out on purpose, we know this can feel frustrating and upsetting! It’s not that peo- ple don’t care, but sometimes they forget with everything else going on. When this happens it’s ok for you to just tell them how you are doing instead of waiting for them to ask. You can also tell them that you feel left out when they do not ask about you, since no one is trying to leave you out on purpose. Another option is to con- fide in a good friend, another young carer, or you can talk to anyone from the YCP. It feels great to share how you are doing, and there are a ton of people who want to know even if they forget to ask.
To submit your questions please send an email. Questions can be answered individually or posted anonymously on this page.