What can worrying feel like? What happens when you have a lot of worries?
- Get a headache
- Stomach feels upset
- Tight chest or like something heavy is on chest
- Chest, neck and face gets blotchy
- No appetite
- HUGE appetite (give me all the food!)
- Feeling very tired but not being able to sleep

When can worrying be a positive?
- When you want to do well on something, like a test or a big project
- When you are worrying about someone because you care about them
- When it’s in preparation for something like a vacation or event you’re excited about
Shows empathy
- Usually when there is worry, it means there is care
 
When can worrying be a negative?
- When all you can do is worry
- When worrying takes up all your time
- When worrying causes other feelings like anxiety and depression
- When worrying leads to feeling isolated from friends and family
- When it is overwhelming and  feels impossible to cope with

What’s a “Worry Doll?”
Worry Dolls originated in Guatemala. The indigenous people from the Highlands in Guatemala created Worry Dolls many generations ago as a help with worrying. According to the legend, when worrying keeps a person awake, he or she tells a worry to as many dolls as necessary. Then the worrier places the dolls under his or her pillow. The dolls take over the worrying and the person is then able to sleep peacefully through the night. When morning comes, the person awakens without worries as their dolls have taken them away during the night!
Does it have to be a doll?
No way! There is no right or wrong way of creating your worry dolls. They could look like a person, a superhero, an animal, a fantasy character… anything you can think of! They can have no face, they have can lots of different coloured hair, they can have lots of eyes! They can look like anything you want. Some of our younger campers got creative by creating “Worry Bugs” using clothes pins, which hold onto the worries so you don’t have to.
Does it really work?
Wouldn’t it be great if all our worries could actually disappear overnight?  Even after using these Dolls, worries will still be part of our lives. Before campers delved into making their own interpretation of Worry Dolls, our Camp Staff facilitated discussion on what worry is all about. We asked our campers:

​So What To Do With Worries?
The reality is that EVERYONE WORRIES! We all do it, even if we do not even realize we are doing it! A lot of the time our worries come and go throughout the day, and do not always stick with us the entire day. Daily worries can be seemingly insignificant, like trying to remember if you shut the lights off, or worrying you will be late for a meeting. But as Young Carers, many of our members have worries that are heavy – “How will I ever be prepared for the test of Friday with my brother in the hospital?”, “Will my sister ever be able to be independent?”, “Is mom okay when I leave her alone during the day?”, “What will happen to our family if my dad dies?”
Many of our campers say they worry the most during down times, like when they are trying to fall asleep at night, when they are on transit, or when they are trying to concentrate on homework. Other members say they worry the most when they are trying to get themselves and their family member organized in the mornings, or when they are helping their family with daily tasks. Other members say they worry all day long, especially if the person they care for is in hospital, starting a new treatment/routine, or home alone.
While Worry Dolls do not work to get rid of all your worries forever, they do seem to help in the moment, especially to help relax right before bed. So what’s that all about? Well, have you ever heard of something called “worry time”? It is exactly what you probably think it is – a time specifically set aside for worrying! A time when you give yourself the freedom and permission to worry about everything and anything.
A key component to worry time is saying your worries out loud, so that you are not just thinking about the worries, but also hearing them. Because we rarely give our worries full attention it is easy for them to continue going around in our heads endlessly. By saying worries out loud, this allows you to think, hear and watch worries in your own face and body, making you a better observer of your worrying. Some people write down their worries, say their worries out loud and then rip up the paper at the end of worry time. Some people use stones to represent their worries and scatter them into a garden or back into a pile (like at a park). Other people tell their worries to Worry Dolls before bed, or even at the start of their day.
Worry time typically lasts 10 minutes, and you give it a chance by engaging in worry time at least 5 times. If during that 10 minutes you run out of worries, go over them again – the idea is to concentrate on your worries during this time so they can feel less pressing during the rest of the day. Some pople find success by scheduling in worry time into their day, rather than trying to find time spontaneously. Many people schedule it twice a day to start, and move down to once a day once worrying lessens throughout the rest of the day. It is important to set aside this time when you know you will be uninterrupted by other people, your phone, the TV, or any other responsibilities - this is time just for you!
So if you are finding yourself worrying a lot, or more than usual, give worry time a try! Carve out some space and time to acknowledge and be with your worries, giving full attention to the thoughts, feelings and physical reactions you experience alongside your worries. 

By: Ashley Mikitzel

My parents make sure I don’t miss school, but when I’m at home I can’t concentrate and it’s really hard to get homework done. What should I do?

Lots of young carers feel that it is hard to concentrate and get homework done at home. It’s okay to feel frustrated or annoyed about this situation. Consider other spaces where you could complete your homework that would fit easily into your life. Is there a library or a quiet cafe near your house? Does your school have an after-school homework program? Is there a friend or family member whose home you could go to complete your work? Consider all your options and draw on all the resources you have. If your parents are very supportive of your schoolwork maybe there’s a way they could set up your home that makes it easier for you to work.


Enlist other peoples help, such as your parents and teachers, in solving this problem. Think about what kind of environment you work best in. Do you like it to be silent? Do you like some music, or background noise? Let the people helping you know what kind of space you need for working so they can help you find it or set it up.

Why is life so hard?

Sometimes life deals us some very challenging situations which are beyond our control. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated about our circumstances. We may have ways of understanding these situations through spiritual or religious ways of thinking, or we may feel that they are totally unexplainable. Although we may not be able to change our circumstances or understand why they are so difficult, we can take steps to make ourselves feel better. It is important to find moments and sources of love and joy within our situations. Meeting other young carers in similar circumstances can be helpful. We are never alone in the feeling that life is hard and it can be helpful to connect with others who are dealing with the same feelings.

Why does my brother say he misses me even when I leave the house for just one second?

Sometimes young carers have very close relationships with the family member they care for. Your family member may rely on you for certain things and feel anxious or worried when you go out, even for a short time. It may feel both good and empowering to be needed and wanted all the time, but it might also be frustrating or feel restricting. Whatever your feelings are about the situation, it’s good to take care of those feelings by talking to someone you trust or doing something which helps you feel better.

If there are other people in your family who help care, talk to them about your family member’s feelings about going out. You might be able to plan more shared responsibility so your family member doesn’t miss you as much. Keep in mind that you may not be able to change your family member’s feelings about you going out, but if you can strike a balance between caring for your family member and caring for yourself, both of you will feel happier.


What do I do when my sister in inconsolable?

There are lots of different things people do to try and make someone feel better, like giving them a hug or saying some encouraging words. Sometimes the person we are caring for needs different things at different times to make them feel better, and what might work one time might not work another time. It can be hard trying to figure out what you should do. Sometimes the best thing is to ask the person what would make them feel better. If the person cannot speak to tell you what they need, listen to their body language, actions, and facial expression as best you can. Remember though, it’s not our job to change the way someone is feeling and it’s not our fault that they are feeling bad. Sometimes there is nothing we can do to change how a person feels, and it’s okay to feel frustrated or upset that you can’t change it. What is really great, is that your family member knows you care! You can be very proud of the fact that you tried to make them feel better and that is a wonderful thing all on its own!


Written by Anna Tennent- Riddell

Photos from freedigitialphotos.net 

Recently, at at one of our YCP nights, we had a drum circle. The group learned various different musical parts which, when played together, created the overall rhythm. We discussed some of the ways in which drumming challenges our minds and bodies; it requires listening carefully to the musicality of everyone else in the group, but not too carefully, in order not to lose the distinct rhythm which each person is playing. Drumming requires of us a great deal of awareness of what others are playing and a strong commitment to and confidence in our own rhythm. Too much or too little of either aspect and the drum circle doesn’t work; it is a balancing act. 

Being a young carer involves a similar balancing act. Young carers must be highly aware of the needs of others, particularly of the family member whom they care for. At the same time they must be committed and confident in their own lives and identities, especially as young adults. Trying to create this balance in life can be stressful and challenging. While other people the same age might be concerned with where they want to go to school, what part-time job they want to do, or where they want to go with their friends on Friday night, young cares have to consider all these aspects in balance with the needs of their family member. Sometimes worrying about a family member’s condition can also make it difficult to participate in social, academic, or athletic activities which help create that balance. 

There are many antidotes to the stress and worry associated with caring for a family member, and they require of young carers significant maturity:


Accepting what is beyond our control

Accepting what is beyond our control and beyond our choice in life is important. This involves doing what we can to take care of and love our family members with an awareness that we may be able to affect, but not control the outcome. This takes a lot of courage, as it means we are confronted with great uncertainty. It is, however, an important skill which can help us throughout all of life. Almost everyone, not just a young carer, is confronted with challenging life experiences which demand this skill.


Celebrating being a Young Carer

Another important aspect of coping with stress and worry is a celebration young carers. The situations of young carers are unique, special, and worthwhile. Young carers have knowledge, skills, and experiences which other young people do not. Even if one does not always receive recognition, any work one does to help others is greatly appreciated and always meaningful. 

Asking for what you need

Teachers, friends and other important people in your life may not know or understand what you are dealing with. If there are people you trust, it can be helpful to let them know what’s going on in your family and ask them for support. You might need a flexible homework or assignment due date schedule from you teacher or a boss at work who is willing to help find people to cover your shift if you need to cancel at the last minute. Asking for what you need can greatly reduce stress and anxiety. 

Doing what you love

Even though it can be very difficult to maintain the balance and keep up different activities, it’s important to keep doing what we love and what is important to us. Doing what we love gives us energy. If we can find something which inspires us, it can carry us through times of stress of worry. Young cares, here at the YCP program we are very proud of you and we feel you have amazing potential to discover and excel at the things you love to do!

Do you have any strategies for reducing stress and worry? If so, post them below in the comments!

Written by Anna Tennent- Riddell

Photos from freedigitialphotos.net 

Balancing school can be challenging for anyone. Getting to class, doing assigned readings and/or homework, completing assignments, studying for tests…being a student is a full-time job! However, managing the workload of school can be additionally challenging when you are a young carer. Helping to care for a family member is often an urgent priority and when being a young carer is demanding of your time, schoolwork often falls behind. By the time you are done your caregiving responsibilities and have some time to focus on schoolwork, you might be too exhausted, frustrated, and overwhelmed to get anything done.

While it is very normal for young carers to find it challenging to balance caring responsibilities and school responsibilities, it can still be frustrating to experience these challenges. Here are some tips that could help you to manage school as a young carer!

1.     When you sit down to start your work, take a moment to breathe. If you have had a busy day managing other responsibilities and you now have some time to focus on your school work, it can be difficult to transition into a focused mindset. Taking a minute to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths may help you to let go of the things that have happened earlier in the day and transition into focusing on your schoolwork.

2.     Try your best to focus on one thing as a time. When it gets to that time of year when everything seems to pile up and is due all in the same week, it can be really overwhelming and hard to focus on your work. If we think about all of the things we have to do at once, it can be debilitating and seem impossible to get it all done. But, if we try to focus on one thing at a time, like the assignment that is due first or the reading that is the most pressing, we can slowly but surely get those items checked off our to-do lists.

3.     Schedule time to get your work done. As a young carer, your schedule might be so busy that your caregiving responsibilities are part of your schedule. In order to better manage school, pencil in time in your day to do school work, even if you can only afford 30 minutes to an hour. Be specific about what you are going to work on during that time too, so that if you are thinking about when you are going to get your work done throughout the day, you will know exactly what will get done and when.

4.     Try your best to get work done (or at least started) in advance. I know that this one is easier said than done, but it’s true. Waiting until the night before something is due is a sure-fire way to cause yourself stress, so trying your best to start an assignment or studying for a test (because that’s often the hardest part) a couple of weeks in advance will be helpful in the long run. However, sometimes it all piles up and the night-before-something-is-due-rush just happens. In that case, tips 1 and 2 might be helpful.

5.     Tell your teacher about your caregiving responsibilities. Sometimes, we want to be able to do it all and not have to ask for help. But when you know you have responsibilities that are going to make it challenging for you to get assignments done on time, one of the most useful things you can do is to talk to your teacher or instructor about your caregiving responsibilities. In many cases, teachers and instructors are very understanding and are willing to work with you on deadlines that are realistic for you. The key is to have this conversation as early as possible. If you let you teacher know about your responsibilities well in advance of a due date, they will likely appreciate your conscientiousness about your work and their time. If you send them an e-mail the night before something is due letting them know about your circumstances, they might wonder why you didn’t let them know about this before and might not be so understanding.

Do you have any tips that have worked well for you? Post them in the comments below!

- Written by Annie Basterfield

Photo from freedigitalphotos.net ("Young College Woman Reading" by Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee)

The basics of living. What are they? How do we define them? The basics of life are defined by natural processes that humans must undergo to survive, but they are the ones we have to monitor. Unlike breathing, thinking, or having our heart pump blood, the basics of living are centred around exterior needs, such as eating, drinking water, sleeping, and so on. Being a young carer, you might find it hard to keep on top of all of these needs. In this post, we will give some suggestions on how you might focus on the basics!

First off: eating. Eating and drinking are two of the most important tasks you will ever complete in life. Without these two essential ways to fuel your body, you cannot live. Make sure that when you eat, you are eating healthy, balanced meals, and try to opt for water over juice or soft drinks, as these contain lots of sugars and don't hydrate your body as well as water. It is important remember that food is fuel for your body, so try your best to make healthy choices whenever possible. What you put in is what you get out, so if you want to feel your best, eat only the best!

Sleep is another essential factor of life. Without sleep, it is impossible for us as humans to function. 8 hours is the minimum amount you should be getting of sleep every night. Without a solid 8 hours of sleep, you will not be able to perform at your optimal level. Another side note: try your best not to skip valuable hours of sleep to get other tasks done. A restful sleep will make you more productive the next day, and as a result, you will probably be able to get all those tasks done at a more appropriate time of day. If you find that getting enough restful sleep or settling down for sleep is difficult, you are not alone – this is difficult for many young carers. Some techniques to improve your sleep could include creating a calming routine for sleep (with some calming music, reading or meditation, and no screens!), going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, and wearing earplugs to bed if you get woken up easily in the middle of the night.  

The final essential basic of life is self-care. It is vital that you take time for yourself to do things that make you happy! As a young carer, your needs can often come second to taking care of your family member and it might be difficult to focus on your own needs. It is important for your health, mental health, and well-being that you do your best to set aside time to do things for yourself and relax! This might mean that you set aside some time each day to exercise, read, meditate, listen to music, hang out with friends – whatever makes you feel refreshed and rejuvenated! 

While it can be difficult to focus on your own needs consistently as a young carer, just doing the best you can, whenever you can, can have a positive impact on your well-being and help you to take better care our yourself and your loved ones.

- Written by Ismay Earl and Annie Basterfield

Photos from freedigitialphotos.net ("Fruits and Vegetables" by Suat Eman, "Woman Reading a Book" by Naypong)

Today's story comes from one of our youth champions, Christina. Christina became a young carer at 13 years old when her grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, and continues to be a caregiver for her mother. Thank you so much to Christina for sharing your story!

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At the mere age of thirteen, I heard the word “cancer.” It was like a knife going through my heart when the doctor told me that my grandma had leukemia. From that day forward, I had no idea that I would be taking care of her and what the road ahead meant for me.

It started with going to doctors appointments and researching medications she was on, to the simple task of calling to see how she was doing or whether she needed anything. Little did I know that as time went by, I would have to take on a much bigger role of being an adult, rather than being a teenager, and making life saving decisions. I can recall that the hardest moments of being a caregiver were not being able to participate in activities of the milestones of growing up. There was a constant pressure of taking on such a big role and having to fulfil a role that I never experienced or known of anyone my age that was in a similar situation. I had to constantly juggle my time and energy one hundred percent towards her, while not realizing that I was abandoning my own personal, physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. I didn’t sign up to do this, but I knew I had to because there was no one else and she confided in me.

When she broke her pelvis, I stepped in to help with bathing, toileting, eating, and advocating on her behalf when health care professionals wouldn’t listen. At this point, the caregiving role became more intense. It was a constant battle to be there almost twenty-four seven and managing finishing university as a nurse. Her health was diminishing and it became challenging to navigate where I stood or what my role had to be. I started off with going doctors appointments, and then bathing, and now advocating for her wishes to stay alive when the health care professionals gave me no hope that she would pull through from the complications that had come with the breaking of her pelvis. Each day, I was constantly reminded that she would not make it and that keeping her alive was very hard on her. I couldn’t stand having to hear the word “dying.” It pinched a nerve in my body that I just couldn’t shake. I kept fighting for her to stay alive, but it was extremely hard to stand back and watch the pain she was in. I sat by her side through the whole time she was dying and the role I had was now reversed. I couldn’t do anything I had in the past. I found it very difficult. I felt helpless and I was useless. I tried avenues to help with her care but I wasn’t being heard. It was very frustrating. At times, I felt guilty of my decisions that I had chosen for her, even though that was what she wanted.

Even after she passed away, I didn’t get a break. My mom was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. Again the awful word, “cancer,” is said, but the most painful aspect is that she is palliative. The options aren’t as black and white and my role as a caregiver is much more complex. There are a lot higher expectations put on me, such as maintaining a job, helping with finances, helping with house work, making sure appointments are all attended, collaborating with many health care team workers, and being able to manipulate my knowledge, as I have a background in health and it is an advantage in navigating the complex resources.

To be honest, the caregiving role I have known is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done or faced in my life. I have had to stand back and watch my friends have a career, become successful, get married, have children, and be financially stable, where I feel like I’m behind. It’s hard to act my age and go out and do things or talk to friends about my situation when I have to become the parent now and reverse the family roles as a caregiver. None of my friends know what it’s like and often times, it becomes upsetting that they can’t relate or be there for me when I need support. Many times I have been frustrated and neglected every aspect of my own life, and felt like giving up. But somehow, I know that there is no other option, because how can I abandon my mother, who is someone I love?

In conclusion, don’t give up because you have no idea how great a person it takes to do something like caregiving for a loved one who is ill. It’s like you have a super power that no one else has. Just remember to always take care of yourself because if you don’t, how can you take care of somebody else?

Happy Thursday! To end the week, here is our video for the Young Carers Program, filmed by the amazing Chris Wynn. Have a fantastic holiday weekend!

Happy Friday everyone! On the Youth Champions blog, we'll be doing a series called "Feel-Good Friday," where we post content that will put a smile on your face to start your weekend off right! 
Use these jokes this weekend to make your friends and family laugh! Have a great weekend :)

Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta 

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator 

Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish." 

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk. 

Q: How do you drown a Hipster? A: In the mainstream. 

Q: How do you make a fruit punch? A: Give it boxing lessons.

Q: Why do sheep go to the movies? A: To get snaaahcks.

Q: What has four legs but can't walk? A: A chair.

Q: Why do bananas use sunscreen? A: Because they peel.

Photo: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When looking at the YCP website and you see the YC Blog tab, you might be wondering, “Youth Champions? I thought this website and blog was for Young Carers!” Well, a Youth Champion is not too different from a young carer, and often a Youth Champion is a young carer.

So what is Youth Champions? This initiative is a group of youth and young adults who are passionate about spreading the word of young carers. As you might already know, it is estimated that approximately 12% of Canadian children and youth are young carers (Charles, Marshall, and Stainton, 2010). With such a significant portion of the population identifying as young carers, the Youth Champions initiative aims to be a key force in raising awareness of young carers and advocating for the needs of this population. As a sub-committee of the Young Carers Program at Hospice Toronto, this initiative recognizes the invisibility of young carers in our society and also recognizes the need to raise awareness of this population, in order to advocate for the growth of supports and services for young carers.

Youth Champions is comprised of dedicated and passionate youth and young adults who want to raise awareness about young carers and also gain valuable skills. Some of our Youth Champions have had the experience of being young carers themselves, and some of them are just passionate about this issue! Members of this initiative get valuable experience in raising awareness and gaining skills in social media, public speaking, and outreach efforts.

If you are a youth or young adult and think Youth Champions sounds awesome, we are in the process of recruiting new members! We are looking for individuals who are passionate about raising awareness of young carers and either have or are looking to develop skills in social media (primarily blogging), public speaking, and other outreach efforts. If you would like to get involved with Youth Champions, contact Katie (katie.jacobs@hospicetoronto.ca) or Annie (ycpintern@hospicetoronto.ca) for more information!

Finally, we want YOU to contribute to this blog, as the Youth Champions blog is “for young carers, by young carers!” If you are a young carer and/or a YCP member and would like to contribute to this blog, please contact Katie or Annie to find out how (e-mails in paragraph above). We are looking for the following content:

·         Young Carer profiles

·         Creative writing – essays, poems etc.

·         Art work – drawings, paintings, photo essays etc.

·         Performance art – songs, dancing, acting etc.

·         More! If you have an idea, let us know!

References:

Charles, G., Marshall, S. & Stainton, T. (2010). Demographics Profiles and Initial Results from the British Columbia Young Carers Study, Relational Child and Youth Care Practice,23(4), 64-67.